13.1 Miles

I ran the D.C. Half-Marathon yesterday and it was awesome! To run downtown amongst historic buildings and crowds lining the streets was truly inspiring! I had a goal and while I really hoped to meet it I had some doubt because my training for this race hadn't gone exactly as I planned. My darn back! But I put in what I could and while I knew I could do the distance I didn't know if I could keep the pace.

Friday night I carbed up with pizza. (It worked for me last year. Who's to break tradition?) We thought we'd save a little time and money by picking up Costco pizzas to cook in the room. Unfortunately while the website mentioned stovetop we didn't realize that didn't mean oven too. Jason got creative and cooked the pizza on the stovetop to make the crust crispy and then microwaved the top. It worked pretty good.

The next morning I met up with my friend Kathryn to catch the Metro together. Once again the Metro was packed. We were squished in pretty tight that I almost felt claustrophobic. My back was against the doors and I couldn't move much less turn my head unless I wanted to kiss the guys back in from to of me. But seeing all these runners together at 6:30 am was so invigorating that I pushed all thoughts of being squashed aside.

While everyone was lined up pretty deep behind port a potty's Kathryn and I found real bathrooms with hardly a line. Score! After taking care of business we set out to find our corrals. Kathryn is faster than me so we parted ways. I was in the 18th corral so I didn't start the race until 28 minutes in. Then I took off and didn't look back. I purposely left my GPS watch back because I didn't want to psych myself out but then I had no idea my pace. I pushed myself for fear I'd miss my goal and be disappointed. The problem with a 13.1 mile race is if you go out too fast you might lose your endurance in the end.

The weather was nice. I was a little worried when the forecast called for 60's. I'd been training all winter in hats, gloves and layers. Now I would be racing in shorts and a t-shirt. There was a nip in the air to start off with but then the sun came out mid-race making it a little too warm which made those hydration stations sought after! Jason and the kids were supposed to meet me at the 5 mile mark but I didn't see them. Turns out I was going faster than expected.

While running is physical a lot is mental too. Once the negative thoughts started to creep in I'd quickly push back and replace them with, "I'm feeling good, going strong." and then focus on my music and the people lining the streets with their high 5's, signs of encouragement and cheers. That was enough to keep me going. Great parallel to life too. I need to cheer more instead of being quick to point out faults.

At mile 11 I was ready for it to end. I wanted to slow down but I knew the end would come quicker the faster I went. At the 12 mile mark I sped up. I was going to give it all I got. The cruel thing about this race is the hill you come to right before the finish line.

Totally unfair but you dig in knowing the end is in sight. I cried as I crossed the finish Line. I gave it my all and I was spent. But it was all worth it when I found out I beat my goal by 2 minutes. My goal was 2:10 and I got 2:07:56. That was also 11 minutes faster than last year.

My Awesome and inspiring friend Kathryn. I want to be just like her!

So far

2010 Louisville, KY Half 2:39

2011 D.C Half 2:18

2012 D.C. Half 2:07:56 YAY!

Toes to Bar and Admitting I am Human

When I saw what the CrossFit Games workout was for this week my first thought was I can't do this. The workout was 15 box jumps (which I can do), 12-75 lb. push presses (which I've never done once much less 12 times) and 9 toes to bar (I've never been able to lift my knees about my waist.) So I went in thinking I'm going to use this workout as a time to practice skills I didn't have.

Turns out I could do it. It just took me awhile. With my bad back I really felt the 75 lbs. It was HEAVY! In the beginning I could only do 1-2 at a time. Then I got my form down and it was a little easier but not much. Next came the toes to bar. Brad my instructor had shown us minutes before the games started how to use our legs to swing our legs above our head to touch the bar. I got on the bar and did it. Who knew? It still took me awhile for each toe to bar and I was taking rests in between each one to mentally prepare and to rest my arms.

So this is where the story becomes interesting. As I struggled with the toes to bar there were a couple of times 1 foot would touch and the other would slide right under the bar without touching. My counter Maria said it counted (close enough) and I moved on. I went through the first round and moved to the 2nd. The goal was to see how many rounds you could do in a certain time limit. I made it though 15 more box jumps and 6 push presses and time was up. I was pretty proud of myself.

The I got home and the sinking feeling started. Two times I hadn't touched both feet to the bar. (Why do I remember the number?) I didn't think much about it in the moment. I wish I had-it would have been a lot easier to fix by just doing an additional two before moving on. Instead I now felt the weight of my mistake. I didn't deserve the score I got. The next two days I debated within my head how to fix this.

1. I could redo workout on Saturday. I knew I could get a better score and it would fix the problem. But then my back started giving me issues. A big concern was my half-marathon race the next week. I couldn't afford to reinjure myself otherwise I'd be missing a race I've trained really hard for.

2. No redo. But If I didn't redo I would have to submit a lower score-the one I deserved. I'd also have to explain to my coach why my score I submitted was lower than he had written down. That hit me in the gut. To admit you're wrong is a hard thing to do. Then this story came to mind from Primary, remember? (http://www.lds.org/friend/2001/11/come-listen-to-a-prophets-voice-honesty-a-moral-compass?lang=eng&query=climb+rope)

My other issue that went along with this decision to do a redo was a Stake R.S. function being held all day Saturday. If I did the redo I'd miss the meeting. (our Stake center is an hour away)

I debated this decision over and over in my head. If I did the redo I wouldn't have to admit my mistake, I could submit a better score and all would be right in my world. But I would be risking hurting myself further possibly affecting my race next Saturday and I'd miss out on a well-planned Stake activity.

Heavenly Father let me mull this over but in the end the Spirit taught me two lessons. First, its okay to be wrong-admit it and move on. And second-Do you remember the talk "Good, Better, Best?" I was taught that while the Games was a Good thing going to the R.S. meeting was the Best thing. So I sent my coach an email Saturday admitting what I'd done, submitted my lower score and then attended my R.S. meeting.

It wasn't my first choice but it was the Right choice and the Spirit told me so.

Crossfit

I wasn't going to do it. I had all the right excuses.

-I just recovered from a back injury that kept me from lifting any weight overhead or bending over for 7 weeks. (I had bulging discs)

-I'd been going to a physical therapist 3x a week and just graduated from the no pain zone.

-I wasn't sure I was up for it.

But that is why I did it.

I joined the Crossfit Six Zero team for the Crossfit Open Games 2012. http://games.crossfit.com/

From the beginning that is how I have always felt about Crossfit. Not sure I'm up for it. Not sure I can do it. But then I give it all I have and in the end I realize I can.

For me its just as much about mental toughness as it is strength.

I started Crossfit out of necessity. I was experiencing some anxiety. I wasn't running due to tendonitis and I needed a way to cope, an outlet to my stress. Those first few weeks of Crossfit I'd look up the workout the night before and think, "Ugh!" As I walked over to Brad's garage the next morning there was always a sense of apprehension about what I was about to do and whether I could do it? But what Crossfit has taught me is to chip away at things. Don't look at the Big Number. Divide and Conquer. Okay, so 200 air squats seems ridiculous. Don't think 200, think sets of 10 or 5. Same with challenges in life which can sometimes overwhelm us. Chip away!

And then I'd end up doing something I doubted I could do and I realized I CAN do hard things-In Crossfit and in Life!

In the words of Christopher Robin to Pooh,
"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

My Temple Experience

Wednesday I was suddenly hit with the thought I should go to the temple on Thursday. I liked the idea and it would work out since Jason had taken the next two days off of work BUT I promised Jason that Thurs was the day we would go through paperwork together. We've been putting this off and since we've decided to put our Illinois home back on the market we really needed to do it. I mentioned going to the temple to Jason and I even texted a friend to see if she'd be interested in going. But I still didn't commit myself to going. The next morning I got the kids off to school and while the thought still persisted I couldn't make up my mind. Finally I gave in and had 30 minutes to get ready before needing to catch the train to NYC.

I was actually excited about the prospect of the day. I knew Heavenly Father had something planned but didn't know what. I made it to the train station and got my ticket. The train was running late so I leaned against the wall and observed the people surrounding me. Immediately a woman caught my eye because she was wearing a BYU backpack. She was with her son. I was tempted to go talk to them but didn't. Instead I just watched. We boarded the train and I tried to maneuver myself near them to see if I could strike up a conversation. But we ended up being two rows apart. When we arrived in NYC they got off the train and kind of just took it all in. I moved with the throngs of people heading inside Penn Station to the subway. I had a little trouble getting my subway ticket because none of the machines were taking credit cards. I finally got it and looked back and saw the woman again heading my way. I stood back and watched and then gave in and went over to talk to them. I told them I saw their BYU backpack and asked them if they needed help. A look of relief washed over the woman's face. She said yes. I asked where they were going and she said to the temple. I told her that's where I was going and I would take them there. It turns out they just moved here a week ago (were Army) and were venturing out without really knowing what they were doing. NY can be intimidating the first time around but once you do it its really not a bit deal.

The woman's name was Jo and she was taking her son to the temple. In just a couple weeks Aaron would be leaving for a mission to Australia. We made it to the temple and enjoyed the session together. Afterwards I took them to my FAVORITE Gyro stand (58th & 8th) and we stood savoring every delicious bite. (The best part is they are only $4-a steal!) Its more enjoyable to eat a Gyro in the summer when you can sit down at Columbus Circle or Central Park. In the winter you just try and find a place to stand out of the wind and cold. After we'd eaten I took them downtown toward Times Square trying to orient them to the layout of NYC and chatting along the way. At Times Square we hopped on the subway and parted ways. They were heading further south to the Ferry while it was time for me to head home. We exchanged numbers in case they needed additional help and said goodbye.

As I sat on the train I berated myself a little for taking so long to act on the whisperings of the Spirit. I could have helped Jo a lot sooner and saved her from the extra stress in NYC. I don't know why I hesitated especially since I was on the lookout for some reason for my trip that day. I'm glad I finally succumbed and it really turned out to be a beautiful day with new friends and the temple. I don't know why Heavenly Father chose me to be the one to help this family to the temple but I was glad He did! I am learning to recognize how the Spirit speaks to me. I'm beginning to think it speaks often and I am not listening or aware. I hope to be better.

26 Books of Mormon later. . .

I'm not sure I can put into words what this experience has meant to me. It has been a beautiful journey. I echo what Elder Bednar once said, "I knew this before I just know it better now."

I've learned to trust in Heavenly Father more. I couldn't have done this without His help.

I've learned to more clearly recognize the promptings of the Holy Ghost. It helps if you are listening.

I've learned that Heavenly Father is ever mindful of His children and He loves each and every one of them. When I walked down the streets of NYC I see just a small fraction-there are so many and yet he knows them intimately.

I've learned to not judge. We really can't judge others based on what we see on the outside, what they allow us to see. Just like ogres, people have many layers.

I've learned people are appreciative when you share something from the heart. With each Book of Mormon I included a personal note. Each of these people have touched my life in some way and I wanted them to know how much that meant to me. Many thanked me for that gesture.

I've learned we don't need to be afraid to share our faith and experiences. When people ask what you did over the weekend don't filter out what we think they don't want to hear. Go ahead and share your experiences. Tell them you went to church or to the Temple, etc. They won't be turned off by it. You aren't preaching but you are sharing a part of your life with them.

I've learned people want to hear the good news. There is so much negativity in the world. We are bombarded with the world's propoganda. People need to see there is more than what is offered by the tv, movies and music of today. I noticed through Jerome's blog and talking to Susan that people want to hear the good, want to be uplifted by stories of faith. It gives them courage to be strong in the face of adversity and temptation. We need to give people options-there is hope, there is goodness in this world.

I've learned that again that Heavenly Father answers heartfelt prayers. "Therefore, if ye have desires to serve God ye are called to the work;. . ." It may not be easy but I know we do not do this alone.

My testimony has strengthened. My faith has grown. If we look we will see the innumerable ways in which Heavenly Father blesses us. He is merciful and He is Kind.

My relationship with my Heavenly Father has deepened. I see a little more clearly what He is able to see. I hope my vision continues to clear.

I am more appreciative of the plan of salvation. I'm grateful for my knowledge that there is a purpose and plan to this life. I hope to continue to share that with others. I don't see 26 as my final number. I want to wake up each day praying to be able to share a part of this gospel with someone. I hope to continue to trust in the Spirit and not be sidetracked by the natural man which tends to hesitate and question. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for trusting me with this. I knew once I accepted I wouldn't fail because I know

"in the strength of the Lord I can do ALL things."

December 25-Derek

I wasn't sure I was going to give a Book of Mormon out today. I'd already given out 25 and didn't really have anyone in mind. But for some reason I still had 1 more book left. As I was walking Laci early this morning I felt I needed to find one more person to share this Christmas gift with. I went to church prayerful and grateful. As I was sitting listening to our ward's Christmas Contata a name and face popped into my mind and I knew who would be the receiver of my last book. Derek is Brad's brother. (see from December 4)

I met Derek this summer while he was staying with Brad while waiting to start college in the Fall. He now has his own place and visits on weekends and breaks. I hestitated for a second wondering what Brad and Stacey would think of me also giving Derek a book. But then I pushed those doubts aside because I knew this is what Heavenly Father wanted me to do. I have to trust His plan and that doesn't necessarily mean I have to understand.

This afternoon the nieghborhood got together to welcome J home for a theraputic outing. They gave him 6 hours away from the hospital for Christmas. It was a beautiful sight as the crowd gathered around their front steps and sang Christmas carols to their family. This is what Christmas is about-love for our fellow man! The family was extremely moved and grateful. Susan continued to hug me over and over and repeated "God is good. He is soo good!" Her son sits in a wheelchair but she is wrapped in the arms of our Saviors love and lifted up by the angels that surround her. Their family's faith is inspiring!

December 24-Lisa

This is another YMCA post. The Y was my second home in Illinois. It was the hangout for stay at home moms and a great place for families to play together. Lisa ran the childcare at the Y. She started watching Jenna when she was 3 months old and stopped when Jenna was 5 years old! Childcare was free so I happily gave my kids up to her for 1-2 hours daily. It takes a special person to do childcare and Lisa was fabulous. We became friends through my daily drop-offs. You got to love a woman who will gladly accept your kids.

December 23-Jenna's teacher

Jenna decided she wanted to give her teacher a Book of Mormon. She asked me all week. I kept telling her we'd see. Before Jenna's friend next door moved, Jenna asked each Sunday if she could invite her friend to church. I always brushed her off. Basically I didn't want to have that conversation with her friend's mom and have Jenna be sad since I felt she would say no. This time I felt I couldn't do that, not after this month. I've learned that we have to give people a chance. We often times make their decision for them. How do we know they'll say no? I decided Jenna needed a chance to share, to be a part of this experience. Who knows-out of the mouth of babes. . .

December 22-Gina

One of my favorite things to do when I was in Illinois was spin/cycle. It was a very popular thing to do, so much so that I would have to line up 30 minutes prior to the class just to get a bike. They finally added more bikes and then you showed up early to get your favorite seat. Mine was first row in front of the fan. Gina was the most popular instructor. She had the best music which made all that hard work fun. Her husband retired from the USAF and they moved from Illinois the same time as we did. It made giving up cycling a little easier knowing she wouldn't be there anymore to miss. We still keep in touch via Facebook.

UPDATE

Today was a good day. I had an orthodontist appt today so I was curious how Tonie Marie would respond to her gift that I gave her 2 weeks ago. She thanked me for my thoughtfulness and said I had a way with words.

The best part of today was an email I received from my friend in Illinois. Unbeknownst to me she has had a history with Mormons. Not once did she ever bring it up when we were together. She said she was raised Catholic but had Mormon friends. She even attended seminary a few times with them and went to the Open House of the temple just a mile from where she lived. She said she was always curious about the Book of Mormon and she said she would READ IT!!!! with an open heart and mind!!!! YAY! Heavenly Father was right, "How great shall be your joy!

As I continued to follow J's progress I was surprised to find Jerome had mentioned "Happily Ever After" in his journal today. He appreciated the words of a Mormon apostle. :)

We don't know people's heart. We don't know what they are going through or have gone through. But Heavenly Father does. He knows but He needs us to help Him. We need to get over our fear. No one has yelled or gotten upset that I shared this with them. I think most people appreciate the gesture whether they read it or not. When they know you are Mormon they will watch you to see who you are and what you are all about. They will know that this book means enough to you to want to share it with others. But how will they know unless we tell them, unless we share that part of us with them? Be prayerful and be not afraid!

3 more to go!

December 21-Holli

Holli was my hairstylist in Illinois for 5 years. She was referred to me by a friend and I later learned that a lot of women in my ward were going to her. She always seemed to be going through a difficult time and I often thought of saying something about the church and when I moved giving her a Book of Mormon. I regret that I didn't. Why is it so hard to open our mouths? Maybe something I said could have helped. I won't know because I never tried. The chances of something happening when you do nothing equals zero.

December 20-Patty

I could go on and on about Patty. She is a saint. I went through an extremely stressful time this summer with our home in Illinois. We were having mold problems and the company responsible was not taking responsibility. I was stuck many miles away unable to make them accountable. And thats where Patty came in. She took the problem upon herself and did everything she could for us-taking pictures, meeting with the company, asking questions and demanding answers. What makes this even more incredible was she was getting nothing out of it-no money, no job (she is owner of a duct cleaning company). She saw that we were in need and she took it upon herself to help. I hope to thank her in person someday but for now I sent her a written thank you and the Book of Mormon.

December 19-Jerome & Susan

This was an emotional one for me. Jerome and Susan were our next door neighbors before we moved. I've been thinking and praying about them for awhile now. On Dec 1st their son suffered from a rare condition where a blood vessel ruptured near his spinal area resulting in internal bleeding and paralysis below his waist. He is 9 years old.

Their family has a website updating family and friends on their sons condition. Its interesting how people react to tragedy. Some turn away from God and others turn to Him. This family's faith is strong and inspiring. I would like to include an excerpt from Jerome's journal.