Gratitude

I wasn't in much of a thankful mood this past week. I was actually far from it. I was moody and testy and angry and frustrated and our Thanksgiving turned out to be one I'd not like to remember. As Jason was packing he handed me a booklet meant to give me information to prepare for the deployment. One of the first things I read was, "Couples preparing for deployment and separation go through many emotions. . .Intense feelings are normal. . .Don't worry if you are angry or depressed. . " The first thing I thought was, "That's right, okay, I'm normal." Then I was upset that a booklet had predicted my behavior.

I went alone to church today, well with the 5 kids in tow. Today's talks were on Gratitude. This was something I sorely needed to hear. Gratitude. How could I be grateful? This assignment has been tough on me. Jason has left me more times than I can count and is doing it again. Even when he's here his schedule is unpredictable. There are so many things I can and have complained about. And you know what? It's gotten me nowhere. I'm not liking the person I have become. And I'm tired. You know the talks they give on forgiveness and how forgiveness is more for you than the one you are forgiving-because if you don't forgive then your really only hurting yourself. Well, that's how I feel about the situation I'm in now. Not that I have to forgive but that I'm not improving my situation with my complaints and angry fits. It's only made it so much worse.

So I'm moving past that. No more complaints. No more adding up how many months Jason's been gone since we've lived here. No more dwelling on all the negative aspects about his job. No, I'm going to be grateful starting now. . .

I'm grateful
-that Jason is in the USA and safe from harms way and that we can visit him for Christmas (18 days and counting!)
-that he has a job that he loves because if he didn't the situation would be so much worse
-that he is supporting the war and the heroes that are headed home from it
-that he has a job that provides for our family
-that he loves me despite my recent mood swings and erratic behavior
-for my kids that love me and are willing to keep me as their mommy despite my recent mood swings
-for family and friends who have in the past provided the ear to which I complained into and are here for me again
-for those who have already offered their support. . .offering dinner, breaks from kids or to the kids breaks from me and anything I need when the need arises. Like a garage door that pops off the track or an air conditioner that blows a fuse. You never know- something is bound to happen.
-for cell phones so the kids can have fun texting Jason with messages like, "We got a $5 coupon to Taco Bell and dinner only cost us $.25." or from Ryan, "I saw two mustangs (the car) one was red, one was yellow."
-for prayer and the Holy Ghost and a Heavenly Father who loves me. I'm know I'm not alone.

There's a lot to be grateful for.

On a really personal note I found a scripture that will help serve as a reminder of what my home can be like when I stay positive. It can be found in 2 Nephi 8:3 or Isaiah 51:3,

"For the Lord shall comfort Zion, he will comfort all her waste places; and he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness shall be found therein, thanksgiving and the voice of melody."

What a promise. That's the kind of home I want. Plus, I'm really excited that I understand a verse in Isaiah!

Thanksgiving Warnings

Was your Thanksgiving full of love and warm feelings or was it full of threats and warnings? The kids made the Thanksgiving pies this year. Then they got a little protective of them. The signs are to remind Jason to not pick the pecans off the Pecan Pie and Ryan not to dip his fingers in the chocolate, even if he is just cleaning the sides of the pie plate.
The signs must have worked. The pies remained intact and they were delicious!

Ever heard of a Vampire Baby Shower?

Well, my friend Shelby (she made this incredibly funny invitation) and I hosted one for our good friend Amy. Dinner and tickets to the sold-out Twilight movie. What more could a new mom want? Well, except for a few extra hours of sleep and baby who doesn't cry. We finished off the night with milkshakes at Steak and Shake. We couldn't go home without talking about the movie.

Happy Birthday Eric!

Eric turned 1 on Tuesday. As I reflected on Kelsey's and Eric's first birthday I noticed a major difference between the two-the cake or cakes. When Kelsey turned one I was a young mom with lots of energy. My creativity was at an all time high. Since her birthday was around Easter I had a lot of decorations at my disposal. I decided 1 cake wasn't enough and went completely overboard with a bunny cake AND 2 cakes shaped like Easter eggs AND 2 carrot cakes.

Eric on the other hand ended up with a small Wal-mart cake because the homemade cake that Kelsey made him earlier in the week was invaded by those who know better and their greedy fingers and salivating mouths. By the time we got to the cake there was only cake and no frosting. (I write this so when Eric is older he will know the truth about his siblings). But the real difference isn't the number of cakes but whether or not it was edible or not. See I burned the bottom of Kelsey's cakes so she didn't have much interest in them. Eric started in the middle of his cake and kept on digging. Eric has two loves in his life. The two things he can't live without-his fingers and his blanket. His mom sadly comes in at a distant 3rd.

Orders

He got them. It's official. And now I'm officially sad. I can't believe we are doing this again. I knew it was coming but I wouldn't really let myself dwell on it until he had orders in hand and a date. Now I just want to curl up and cry. Jason leaves next Friday. Yup, the day after Thanksgiving for another 4 months. This deployment is different because this time he's heading to Travis AFB in California. Not quite as exotic as Germany and Africa but then again the situation in California with the passing of Prop 8 might provide some interesting scenery.

The kids are handing it great. Of course Jason is still around so It's hard to imagine him gone. And who wants to imagine that just yet. We'll celebrate Eric's 1st birthday tomorrow and Thanksgiving next week and then the countdown begins.

I'm so proud of my husband though. I'm glad that he is able to help those who have been injured in the war get home to their families and loved ones. The military move them fast. So basically he'll be doing the same job he does here but serving the Western states instead of the Midwest.

I know I'm whining a little bit today but I'll get over it. We've done it before and we'll do it again.But first I want to sob into my pillow, wallowing in self-pity while listening to Avril Lavigne's song, "When You're Gone" and then I'll suck it up and be strong while taking it one day at a time.

*And since it's a deployment even though he's stateside he won't be able to come home for a visit. So close but yet FAR away!

And the Winner Is. . .

Ryan won 3rd place in the ward chili cook-off last night. My nephew Ethan has a killer chili recipe. He made it for us when he last visited and it was so good I thought Ryan ought to enter it in the contest. Ryan didn't realize he even won. He was too busy shooting hoops on the other side of the gym. Typical ward activity. He was pretty excited and his prize was an embroidered apron.

I decided to interview Ethan about his cooking success and see if he would be willing to share any secrets.

How long have you been cooking? Two Months

How did you come up with this special recipe? I just made it up.

Is there a secret ingredient? No. I just threw in some new ingredients.

Has this chili ever won a contest before? No, but I made it for my whole school for Halloween and everybody liked it.

What is your favorite thing to make? Eggs

So you can see it doesn't take much to be a contest winning cook. Just throw in a bunch of ingredients and try your luck. And if you have a secret ingredient don't even hint that you have one.

This is my nephews killer chili recipe which I was given permission to share. Ryan dubbed it:

"Little Smokie Chili"

1 1/2 lb. ground beef, browned

1 onion, minced

salt & pepper

1 can chili beans

1 can kidney beans

1 can sloppy joe sauce

1 can diced tomatoes

1 can mixed vegetables (we used just a mixture of peas and carrots), drained

bag of little smokies, cut in half

Bring to a boil and simmer. TASTY

Ethan, thanks for sharing. We can't wait to see what you've cooked up next for us.

I Want To Be a Germ Stopper

I want to dispel a myth that's running around out there. It's this: Hand washing stops the spread of germs. Monday I cleaned all day. I managed to finish the house once I locked those two hooligans up with a movie. As I tackled the toilets and dishes and laundry and changed diapers I must have washed my hands 37 times. When I looked at my hands dry and cracked the thought came to my mind (I really had this thought) that there is no way I'm getting sick this season with as many times as I wash my hands each day. Seriously. I'm safe. Tuesday comes around and what do you know. . . I'm sick. I want to be a germ stopper. I wash my hands, I cough into my elbow, I clean my house. So why is it that I'm going through my 3rd box of Kleenex, Kate has pink eye and Jenna is still in bed and it's 9:30 am. This by the way is unheard of for Jenna. All I know is if hand washing stops germs someone in this household didn't wash their hands. Who's the culprit? Is it Ryan? Is it Jason? Is it Kelsey? It couldn't be Eric who crawls around on the floor all day putting anything and everything he sees (including nasty, dirty shoes) in his mouth and then smothers us with kisses.
I didn't get my flu shot yet. But since I have the flu I'm hoping that means I don't have to worry about getting it anymore or do I?

Who Wants A Clean House Anyway

If there is one room in the house that has to be clean it's my kitchen. It's the first job I tackle.When my kitchen is clean I feel in control. Or so I thought. Then I walked into this room. . .

and realized who's really in the drivers seat. I suppose Jenna and Eric were making sure I didn't run out of things to do today.

Game anyone?

How you Know You've Got a Hit on Your Hands. . .

Dancing With the Stars is a pretty popular show at our house this season. (I think Cody Linley might have something to do with it-I hear giggles and sighs from Kelsey and Kate whenever he comes on.) It's even more popular than Game Cube it turns out. The girls and I came home from an activity at the church last night and found Jason and Ryan playing Game Cube. Ryan doesn't get to play very often so he is pretty excited when he gets to pull it out and then complains when he has to put it away. Anyway, as I walked in I noticed what time it was and hinted strongly that Dancing With the Stars was on. I got the "Just a minute, let us finish this level," from Jason. (He'll watch it with us sometimes but is not as passionate about it as the rest of us are.) Then out of the corner of my eye I see Ryan find the remote and change the channel. That took both Jason and I by surprise. Dancing over Game Cube?? He says he likes the dancing. Secretly, I think he has a crush on Julianne. And since she's partnered up with Cody you might be able to guess who our family is voting for.

Halloween

I thought Jenna was going to be Cinderella for Halloween but the girls found this costume in the dress-ups and I think she makes a much cuter witch than Cinderella. Jenna loved, loved, loved Halloween. Me-not so much. She loved trick or treating and all the candy. Oh, the candy. Jenna's dream come true. We've hidden the candy, but seriously, she is amazing. She finds it. If it's too high for her to reach, she'll find a way. Like carrying a kitchen stool up a flight of 14 stairs. Why don't I just throw it all away? Then it would be all over and done with. No, for some reason I can't. Instead we hide the candy. Then Jenna finds it and locks herself in the bathroom giggling over her stash (and good luck) while we try and manipulate her out. Shes too smart and she's proven the rest of us AREN'T!!!Ryan decided the night before Halloween that he didn't want to be a pirate or Power Ranger again. He wanted to be something scary or gory. I'm not good with scary or gory so I suggested Michael Phelps. I held my breath but then let out a sigh of relief when he loved the idea. He immediately went to work getting all the items necessary for the costume to work, including the earphones for the ipod. I didn't know what Kate was going to be. She and her friend Amanda kept changing their minds. They finally settled on being teachers. But everyone thought they were twins.Eric didn't dress up. I forgot about his costume. He still enjoyed Halloween though, his favorite thing being the pumpkins on our front steps. Every time he crawled outside he immediately went to work pushing the pumpkins down the steps into the grass. It was beginning to look like a pumpkin graveyard.
We are down to the leftover candy now. You know the kind that they'll eat because its candy but all the good stuff (Reese's and Kit Kat's) are long gone. What candy was the first to go in your Halloween stash? Anyone want to trade? I'll give you 3 dum dums for a kit kat.

Soccer

I didn't take very good pictures this year. Too busy trying to keep an eye on Jenna and Eric. But I did capture this one just after Ryan scored a goal. I'm disappointed that he's too far away for you to see the HUGE grin on his face. Ryan and Kate had their last soccer game on Saturday. The weather was a perfect 75 degrees. How unusual is that? Very. Usually this late in the season we are bundled up in our winter coats and gloves shivering. The kids had a great season. I'm basing that on improvement, not on the number of games won. But it sure was fun to watch. Kelsey didn't get to play this year. Unfortunately, cross-country conflicted with the soccer schedule.