My emotions have been all over the place this past month. Usually I was fine until someone asked me how I was doing. Then the tears would spring up and I'd think 6 months!!!! It hasn't even been 6 months since Christmas and that seems forever ago. My mind couldn't even wrap itself around that number. We've been through 3 deployments and they've all turned out to be 4 1/2 month deployments. But 6??? Then one day (after going to the temple) I realized I just couldn't think about it anymore. I decided I was just going to take it 1 day at a time and I was going to use that time to become a better me. I needed goals. I needed to focus on what could be instead of what life would be without Jason. The negativity was paving the pathway to depression. I don't want to be depressed for 6 months. I want to be happy and play with my kids and take advantage of all the opportunities coming my way.
We have a month long trip planned to visit my in-laws in Rockport, TX. (30 minutes from Corpus Christi and from what I hear they are just 3 blocks from the beach!) Another trip to Alaska with my sister for my 20th reunion and my mom is coming to visit me for a month in August. It's going to be great! What do I have to complain about? Its Jason that I'm sad for. He's the one missing out and all alone. So please don't feel sorry for me. But do say a prayer for Jason. I am so proud of him. He's going over there to do good things. And I know he'll do a good job! Before he left he asked me what I wanted him to do. I made out my to-do list. And mind you some of these things I've been waiting for for a couple of years and yet he did them. And more. He really tried to leave me in the best shape possible and he did. And I am so grateful! I'm going to be ok.
Good news. Just as he was boarding the bus he showed me his orders and they say 123 days. His 6 month deployment may turn into just a 4 monther. I don't want to get my hopes up because things have a way of changing in the military. But I can hope
1 comment:
I guess it took Jason's deployment to get you to really blog again.
I am sorry that he had to leave though. But hopefully it will only be for the 4 months. I know you will do great either way. You have so many plans that I am sure the time will fly. Staying busy seems to be the key.
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